For two weeks now I have been in Italy. I have had some terrific meals. I have stayed in some shabby hotels. I have had my computer break. I have had more rain than the Amazon. I have dealt with some of the rudest people of my life. I have nearly been arrested. I have spent too much money on things I didn't need. I have cried in frustration. And yet I am still here.
I ask myself why constantly, because I don't love Italy. Its fine. But not amazing. I think my perception of what I would find here has ruined it for me. And part of that is linked to the happiness I found in Spain.
When I set out on my journey, I picked a flight that left the day I wanted, flying to a city that I hoped to see, and on March 10 I landed in Barcelona under a full moon. How beautiful that was!
I didn't expect to be in Barcelona more than 3 days, and I stayed for 5. I did not plan to spend more than 2 weeks in Spain and yet I spent 5 whole weeks and have a flight back in a few days for Feria. I did not expect to like Spain as much as I did, and yet I loved EVERY MINUTE of it.
From the people, to the food, to the nutty experiences with Flower Power, to the fun and fabulous memories in Sevilla, and the religious and cultural experiences of Semana Santa... to the beaches and the winding city streets, to the museums and old historic towns, to the rioja and the manzanilla, to the 4AM nights and the lazy afternoons. Spain seemed to speak my language, although the language barrier was a challenge. My days there were SO HAPPY. I was the happiest girl on the block, wherever I was... Madrid, Barcelona, San Sebastian, Granada, and especially in Sevilla. I never thought I would love that country as much as I did. And part of that was feeling in synch with the people and situations around me. Meeting Jose. Meeting up with Eline and realizing how much we had in common. Meeting Miguel and the other Sevilla Boys. Meeting Javi and his friends. Meeting Peter and his friends. Meeting Karlyn and the German couple.
My experiences in Spain were life changing and eye-opening because I let them be. I had no expectations, and was continuously blown away. Everything seemed to fit. Everything seemed to amplify. ... And with all that positive emotion for one place, well, of course Italy looks like a sham! It could never compare to the soulful happiness I found in its Spanish Sister!
Maybe that's been my problem... Comparing it to Spain. Expecting my experiences here to equal what I knew there. They simply can never measure up, and I think I have to quit expecting them too. That's the only way I am going to appreciate Italy, is to give her a blank slate to create her own canvas. For who wants to paint under such high expectations, and such limits?
So apologies to Italy for the thoughts I have had...for the critical eye I have seen you with... and the frustrated vibes I have put out there. I am changing my attitude today, so hopefully, you can change your attitude about me? What do you say? A truce?
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