Being in Italy for a few weeks now, I am starting to get a sense of what is “Italian” and what is specific to a city/region. These are commonalities that I have witnessed:
1. Restaurant servers are extremely rude and pushy. They are there to serve you, and will if you make decisions quickly, with minimal alterations to their menu, eat fast and pay and leave faster. Dilly dallying does not set well here.
2. Trains are disgusting, if not revolting. They smell, they are cramped, they are impossible to get on and off of with luggage.
3. Men are extremely abrasive. They know themselves, and think you should too. They make unneeded assumptions about you, such as thinking that you actually want to spend time with them. They talk about their work, their life, their clothes, their cars, their families…and have little regard for the fact that you are a person too with a job, a life, clothes, and a family.
4. One word: UPGRADE. In Hotels or hostels, go with the highest start-count you can afford. Three stars is a dive here in Italy… but don’t complain, they don’t care.
5. They dress a little rugged. Prim and proper is not an Italian concept. (obviously) Men are never clean shaven, they are slightly greasy and slick, and they are sure to be wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day. The women usually have unruly hair, or ironed straight in a very harsh fashion. Their make-up is too bold, their clothes too tight, and their presence over-bearing… this goes for men too.
6. In a Pharmacy, you can have whatever you want… WITHOUT a prescription. Seriously, just ask… for anything!
7. Pickpockets are everywhere. As proven by my stolen blackberry.
8. There is a sur-charge on everything. As proven by my AmEx bill.
9. They beg for tips in an obvious fashion. Forget you just paid for an over-priced ferry ride. The smarmy dude who drove you there will then stick his slimy paw out for a tip. Gross.
10. Men are wimps and know nothing of social graces. They will not help you with your luggage… but instead do worse. They wait until you have already picked up your bag, are breaking your back to get it in the overhead locker, and then will attempt “to spot you” like they do at cheerleading camp, without actually doing any heavy lifting. In turn, they expect you to desire a chat with them, and maybe a drink or dinner.
11. Housekeeping only comes to your room when you are in your room. Forget that you have been out site-seeing all morning and early afternoon. When you settle in for a siesta around 3PM you are for sure to get a knock on your door, and you have a decision to make. Do you answer it so you can have a fresh towel for the shower you know you will want to take after you nap? Or ignore it and hope you can fall back asleep?
12. With only a few exceptions, all views of the countryside and the coast are to die for. You cannot take enough photos or look long enough. Beauty is everywhere.
13. Hospitality is questionable at best. Don’t get me started on how bad it can be…
14. A passport is required to use the internet. This is no joke. Without a passport, no restaurant or hotel will give you access… even if you have already paid the exhorbitant fees they charge. I have no clue what they think I will do if I get online, but I love the fact they think I am dangerous.
15. Taxi drivers are crooks. If you use 20 Euros to pay a 12 Euro fare, they will assume that is a tip. Wrong, guess again, buddy.
16. Organization and proper logistics is not taught in art curation class. EVERY museum I visited in Italy (there were about 20) was a case study on HOW NOT TO LAY OUT A MUSEUM. From poor signage, to no signage at all, from having numbers start on the 1st floor, continuing on the 6th, resuming on the 3rd, and then the 7th… You get it, its bananas! I highly recommend that all art curators visit the Prado in Madrid and take careful note. That is a case study of this done right.
17. There is no such thing as a plain croissant. There is some unwritten – or maybe its written – that all croissants must be filled with cream, chocolate or jam. Yuck.
18. Cappucino is NOT the closest thing to American coffee, despite what a server or hostess will tell you. A cappuccino is a cappuccino. American coffee is American coffee. One is made with espresso beans, the other with coffee beans. Other than them both being made from beans, there is no similarity.
19. Pizza, wine and gelato are ALL outstanding. Eat lots of it… daily.
20. Italy is best done as a duo... whether your best man, or your best mate. Don't go it alone. Its very romantic if with your love, and if with a friend, you will for sure want someone to share a pizza with.
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Maybe really Italy is not the country for you. Never had ANY of the problems that you seem to have, and I go several times a year. Sure, the Italians have their own way of doing things, and sure they have terrible taste in pop-music. And actually living in the country can be a bureaucratic swamp. But so much beauty, culture and life far outweighs any of the small annoyances, which-- frankly-- you can face in any country in the world.
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